▶ Your Answer :
From mails to mobile phones, the means of communication have
been innovatively >> 부사는 동사 뒤에 위치시켜주세요 developed innovatively. Especially, the advent of the Informational society
led rapidly the growth of Internet environments rapidly and it affected people's interactive methods. Recently,
people can chat conveniently with someone who they have never met before on the>> the Internet이라고 씁니다 Internet
conveniently. On the other hand, the online conversation gave a rise of anonymity
which has some side effects on our societies. In my personal view, the new
types of communication have provided convenience and speed to us, but they >> but 접속사 뒤엔 완전한 절이 나와야 합니다 also have
seriously negative points on people's life.
The invention of smart phone led the progresses of mobile
equipments and the application markets>> 특정한 market이나 전에 언급됐던 적이 없으므로 우선 복수로 처리했습니다. Through a certain application, people
can talk with their friends,>> 접속사 절이 시작된다면 콤마로 나눠주세요 although they live in foreign countries. People
also can share their personal opinions each other regarding social events on
the Internet. Immediately checking people's responses about social incidents and
interacting with diverse people are the advantages of new technology of
communication.
However, the anonymity caused by Internet environments can
threaten people's life. I have heard a news that a celebrity killed herself>> committed suicide 도 가능합니다 who was not
able to bear some malicious comments about her on the Internet. She left the
message that she was hurt and could not endure Internet bullying by people. It
said that the misuse of the means of communication can bring about extreme
results as an above example.
To sum up, it is obvious true that the advance of
technology have lots of positive influences on our societies. However, with the rapid
growth, there are a number of side effects which people could be difficult to
deal with. If societies and governments
do not handle it well, many social problems could be increasingly happened.
Internet이란 단어가 너무 많이 나옵니다 net , cyber 등 표현을 할 수 있는 방법은 꽤 있습니다 다채롭게 사용해주세요 부사의 위치나 다양한 페러프라이즈를 익혀주시길 바라겠습니다
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.0 예상합니다 |