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These two graphs compare figures of energy consumption of the UK and USA in 2000 and 2006. Overall, the both countries are mainly (? 그림이 없어 그래프를 볼 수는 없지만 다른 자원에 비해 주로 특정 자원에 의존적인지 아닌지 부사를 사용해서 분명히 표시해주는 것이 좋습니다) dependent on non-renewable sources.
First of all, the consumptions of oil and gas hasve shown an increasing trend in both countries. When it comes to gas, their the increasing rates are nearly doubled, from 20 and 15 Ppercent to 38 and 25 percent. The oil consumptions of these countries are also slightly increased.
2000년도와 2006년도에 일어난 일을 다루기 때문에 동사가 과거형으로 바뀌어야합니다, 현재형 동사 X, 밑에도 마찬가지..
On the other hand, the consumptions of the coal and nuclear power have decreased. Especially, the consumption of coal dramatically went (여기는 과거형 사용) down, from 30 to 14 percent in the UK and from 35 to 25 percent in the USA during 6 years. Besides, the usage of the nuclear power slightly descended as well by from 5 to 10 percent in the same period.
However, the usage of other renewable sources in the UK leveled off at approximately 12 percent and the figure in the USA reduced a bit from about 7 percent to 4 percent.
SCORE: 5+
Comment: 기본적인 동사의 시제를 지키지 못하면 내용이 현재로 갔다가 과거로 갔다가 하는 이해하기 힘든 에세이가 됩니다. |