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With the progress of civilization, educational issues have become controversial, one of which is that education. A sizable percentage of people assert that schools should accept pupils dreaming similar future careers, >> 콤마 넣어주세요 whereas others disagree with it. Personally, I go along with the first conviction.
The classes consisting of young people who have similar interests and skills will create massive synergy effects. Firstly, teachers are able to coach and train them the students with intensive courses with properly targeted curriculum,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and take care of them individually at the same time. Secondly, this curricula timetable will provide the competitions in good faith, which can contribute to enhance and develop their skills and knowledge in a fair play atmosphere. Thirdly, concentrating on specific skills may allow them to become professionals and experts in the early stage.>> 현재 글은 주장만 가득한 본문입니다 또한 Firstly Secondly Thirdly 굉장히 심심한 구성입니다
On the other side of coin, there are voices in strong opponents saying that learning process with others from various background is imperative during their youth period. Schools, one of the most important places for young people, should provide a space place for practicing and enhancing social abilities to become members of the community. Most companies are required applicants who have strong interpersonal skills with others in this global contemporary world so that it is necessary to work together at the early age.
In a nutshell, I believe that the skill of communication can be developed gradually, but other major skills should be learnt when they were young. Otherwise, it is hard to survive and being employee be hired in this severe competition world. Therefore, schools should given be give admissions for adolescents` future.
위에 지적한 부분들 봐주시구요 주장이 충분치 않습니다 첫번째 본문에서요 단어나 그래머에서도 오류들이 보이고 문장 전개가 심심한 부분도 보였습니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5 5.5 예상합니다 |