▶ Your Answer :
Two given figures charts illustrates (단/복수 동사주의) main causes of land degradation by in the world and three certain areas in the world; North America, Europe, and Oceania, (<-no comma) during the decade from 1990 to 2000.
Although worldwide reasons showed over-grazing as the most main reason, all three different regions presented each of different reasons.
However, over-grazing could not completely control over the chart ??무슨 의미?. Other main reasons, (comma) like deforestation and over-cultivation also took similar amount of parts respectively with 30 and 28 per cent respectively. Besides those, with 7 percent, other reasons were not spotlighted.
On the other hand, those three parts of the world has have every different ratio. For example, North America 주어설정 주의... 북미가 degraded 되어진 것이 아니라 North America에 있는 땅이겠죠? was degraded by over-cultivation, over-grazing, and deforestation in order of high percentage, but the reasons of Oceania was negatively correlated ????.
Overall, the agricultural industry hesitated 상당히 어색한 표현 from 1990 for the years because of those three main reasons, though the first reason for all was different from each others ??’.
SCORE: 4
Comment: 이해안되는 문장이 많습니다. 캠브리지 책에 있는 문제고 샘플도 많은 에세이이기 때문에 다른 사람들이 쓴 글을 많이 참고하시는게 좋으며, 문단이 짧게 많이 나뉘어 문단마다 깊이가 부족합니다. 또한, 애초에 쓰신 글이 총 151words로 조금 더 길게 서술하시는 것이 좋습니다. |