▶ Your Answer :
The table chart shows how much Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas were sold in European countries called the UK, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, Sweden. during the period 1999 and 200 4 year.
Overall, the section of coffee shows tendency of increased in every country in this given image. <(coffee 외에 banana sales에 대해서도 overall 내용을 전달 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다)
Evidently, the UK achieved a higher record of 20 millions of euros in 2004. <(higher than what?) This profit is the biggest among the in given countries. Also, it is an increased of 18.5 millions of euros than from the figure in 1999 year. This is a very rapidly growth. Meanwhile, by contrast, Sweden recorded the lowest by growth by just 0.2 millions of euros than 1999year. In addition, Switzerland, and Denmark and Belgium sale of coffee recorded 6, 2, 1.7 millions of euros in 2004, respectively. <(전달되는 정보가 consistent하지는 않습니다. 1999년도의 정보도 전달을 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다) Moving to sales of Fairtrade-labelled bananas, majority countries had an increase in sales rised in 2004 year compare with 1999 year. However, by contrast, Sweden and Denmark showed reduction in amount of sales of the banana amount of millions of euros of by 0.8 million euros and and 1.1 million euros respectively.<(respectively 라고 하셨지만 Sweden이 1.1 million euros가 줄어들었고 Denmark가 0.8 million euros가 줄어들엇습니다. 순서는 지켜주셔야합니다) In addition, Switzerland achieved the highest number of sales of Bananas by an increased from 15 to 47 millions of euros in 1999 to 2004.
Score: 5 Comment: 전달해주시는 정보가 잘 정리가되어있지 않습니다. Organization에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 그 외에는 표현에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 예를 들어 rise의 과거형은 rose입니다. 다만 countries rose라고하시면 나라가 증가한게 됩니다. 수고 하셔씁니다. |