▶ Your Answer :
A probems caused by specific crimes haves been diverse in modern society. Following this complex crime occatsions, punishment measures should be altered depending upon eacsh crime and criminals' intention and circumstances emerge as a siginificant factor for judge. I believe that it will be too narrow if judgeor is only considering crime types without investgating details of situations.
Crime types should obviously be categorized in different levels as criminal behavior infringes victimes' just emition or get serious phycial demage ??. For example. thief and robber are all the differnt punishments ? 도둑과 강도는 모두 다른 처벌이다? although the purpose of commiting would be the same. The first one is for taking out money but robber means kill victimes with taking materials.
Addionally, there is a need for wider range of punishments applying into the same crimes. Sexual harrasment reminds people commiting as only phisycal way, but but, as well as infirect infringment, sexual insult belongs together. By providing with different commitment become likewiese necessary in more developed society. ->전반적으로 문단 자체가 이해가 안됩니다.
On the other hand, criminer's motivation and circumstances should be considered when deciding punishment. Commiters ??Offenders'? intention was only taking cashes in the bank, but but, , staffs and security's try to suppress the theif and correspondly kill all those people . This theif is considered as a robber because of killing behavior although it is not orginial intention to threaten people's lives for the crimiers.
Law should not be biased between victimes and commiters' offenders' perspectives.. Victime' acceptance in certain situation can be far striking with commite's intention. Keeping objectiveness is the reason why the primary aspect. ? This judgement system is supposed to prevent biased punishment judgement as minimum.
In conclustion, each crime has to be punished in a different level of punishment, but It it will result serious side effects if only taking into account such distinguishment. Judgers have to consider circumstances with commitor's intention to not be biased.
SCORE: 4
Commenet: 읽는이로 하여금 confusion을 주는 문장이 너무 많습니다. 문법적 실수, 스펠링 실수, 그리고 더 중요한 것은 주어진 문제에 제대로 대답을 하기 보다는 더 부수적인 내용이 많습니다. 논리 부족. 문법 공부와 함께 다른 샘플 에세이를 보며 많이 공부하셔야하겠습니다. |