Fossil fuel, such as coal, oil and natural gas, is
extensively used in many countries which cause harms to the environment. The use
of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, however, is
being encouraged in many countries. Is this a positive or negative development?
-Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant
example from your own experience of knowledge.
In today’s world, consumption of the fossil fuel this is
common in our society. We can easily find gas and oil stations near home. Many people
believe that using fossil fuel should causes massive impact on global warming in
the near future. On the other hand, others consider developing alternative
energy that request the great deal of money for purchase land and redevelop residential
area. Although alternative energy is being developed, some people consider this to be negative. However, I believe that the alternative energy could reduce global-warming
such as air and water pollution. Furthermore, if we do not prepare an alternative
source energy, it would that should occur energy depletion.
The development of alternative energies may occur negative
effects. For example, construction of power plants need the plenty of money, so
many governments try to increase the tax from the citizens. Moreover, the power
plants build that harm the natural environment and wild animals while construction
is going on. (1. 이 문단은 '왜 긍정적인지' 에 관해서 내 의견을 더 채워주시면 됩니다. 여기에 대해서는 총평에서 링크를 넣어드릴게요. 2. 여기서 엔터 한번 더 쳐야 합니다. 엔터를 한 번만 치는 경우는 절대 없고, 이것도 점수에 들어가니까 주의해주세요~)
On the other hand, there are many advantages of developing alternative
energy. For example, a company has been already developed solar cars that do
not need oil and natural gas as the fossil fuel. BY Using the solar cars, we can probably reduce carbon emission and improve global warming as well. Moreover,
if the global-warming improve people could not would not have to suffer from air pollution as
respiratory diseases caused by air pollution, and we would be able to protect the extinction of wild animals. should protect wild animal extinction
To summarize, many countries can face the oncoming energy
depletion and global-warming. I believe that we should understand and agree
with develop the alternative energy and should consider how to use those energy
generally. In addition, we have to recognize there is no longer fossil fuel in
near the future. (지금처럼 제언을 하는 게 아니라, 왜 '대체자원의 사용이 긍정적인지' 를 요약해주세요~)
총평: (6/5/6/5) 5.5
서론은 서/본/결 중 중요도가 가장 떨어집니다. 고로 거기에서 분량/시간을 너무 많이 투자하지 말고, 본론 강황에 집중해주셔야 해요. 7점대 이상 필요하신 게 아니면 서론은 그냥 템플릿으로 넘기셔도 무방합니다. 대신 하나의 템플릿으로 모든 걸 해결하려고 해서는 당연히 안 되고, 유형에 따라 적절한 대처는 해주셔야 하고요.
본론 첫 번째 문단과 관련해서는 매우 중요하므로, 밑의 링크를 꼭 정독해주세요~수고하셨습니다 :)
https://www.gohackers.com/?c=ielts/ielts_info2/ielts_method&p=2&type=url&uid=471212