More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?
It has
been observed that an increasing number of people opt cities as their residential
area. However, the life there would not be easy unlikely their high expectations.
There are some reasons why people suffer from living cities but also some ways that governments can take and then I will
suggest some ways that can governments.
To
begin with, we can see easily that people who migrated from the suburb a few years ago find it had to adjust to their changed lifestyle, surroundings and others, migrated from suburb a few years ago,
do not adjust their changed live, surroundings and others. This is mainly
because, there is a gap on the standard of living between urban and countryside.
One of the major regions of development are capital city or metropolis as the
priority when some plans are set each year. In accordance with this trend, the
form of occupations and environment condition of form have been naturally different by naturally.
Hence, migrators might experience (단순 경험하다가 아니라, 어색해하다 등으로 작성해주시면 더 좋습니다.) the differences in diverse kinds of factors
such as accommodations, commercial areas and life style of other people.
In my
opinion, it is necessary for governments to intervene to reduce these gaps by governments for reducing these gap about
overall life. First of all, they should concentrate on suburban areas for creating a better quality of life in those areas not only big cities but also suburban. It allows to enhance
or makes the region and companies company actively. In addition, if the government invests (참고로 문단 초반부에는 정부의 복수형, 여기는 단수형이 쓰여서 통일이 안 된 상태이고, 이에 따라 CC감점이 있겠지만, 그냥 참고로 봐주시고 문법에 더 주의해주세요~) more in the infrastructure of affordable and social housing in rural place, it is able to reduce the gap between urban and suburban.
In conclusion, the considerable the differene of lifestlye and level in cities and countryside brings dwellers who mobe from rural to city with some confusion and adjustments. To reduce it, governemnts and some companies have to foster industrial complexes or some facilities area in the countryside.
총평: (7/5/6/5) 6.0
결론의 철자 오류만 아니었어도 어휘는 7점이 가능했을 것 같아서 아쉽네요. 어휘는 지현님께서 반드시 점수를 벌어가야하는 영역입니다. 따라서 절대로 철자 관련해서 문제가 생기지 않도록 주의해주세요~수고하셨습니다 :)