The number of children that married couples have on average has been declining for several decades now.
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In recent years, the average number of children per family has been decreasing constantly. I think that this situation negatively affects a child who is raised alone and society.
First of all, from an emotional perspective in the child, unlike the other parents who have to spend much more time with their many children, parents who have only one child may be comfortable for the reason that they don’t (줄임말은 풀어써주시는 게 좋습니다. 밑에도 싹 풀어서 작성해주세요~) need to spend that much time rearing child, but their child may feel lonely. In particular, these days, there are many working-parents, so their children must be alone after school.
For example, in Korea, a person who is an only child commonly say that they often felt lonely because they didn’t have any being to play with like a sibling. There is a limit to the things that parents play with their children. An only child would be bored even with their parents because most children feel more fun when they play with peers.
In that regard, the children growing alone might have negative effects on an emotional development.
Secondly, from a social perspective, having
few children in a family leads to a reduction in the reduce of birth rate, plus, it would cause a decline declining
in productive population. Many developed countries already are experiencing these
problems while they are struggled to solve the problems.
For example, many countries in Europe such as Sweden, France, and the UK have been implementing a policy to overcome the low birth rate from when they realize the problem of it. They made a policy related to child care and are conducting it to help parents who are rearing children to do their children raising more easily. This shows that the countries that are experiencing a low birth rate perceive it a really serious issue as an irreversible matter. (이것보다는 낮은 출산율과 노동인구가 불러오는 단점에 대해 작성해주셔야합니다.)
To sum up, even though some people think that the decrease in the size of the average family is a positive development, I personally think that this is a negative development from a children’s emotional and social point of view.
총평: (6/5/6/7) 6.0
영어 실력이 꽤 좋으시기 때문에 아마 지금 치르셔도 task 2는 6.5 정도는 받으실 겁니다. 단, 지금의 6.0 은 CC가 5점이었기 때문이고, CC가 5점인 이유는 문단 구분이 이상하게 되어있어서이고요.
문단은 딱 네 개만 만들어주시면 됩니다. 그 이상으로 만들어도 각 문단이 명확한 중심 내용 아래 능수능란하게 묶여있으면 상관 없겠지만, 일반 수험생이 이렇게 하기는 쉽지 않습니다. 그러므로 점수를 위해서는 그냥 문단은 무조건 4개 만든다고 보시는 게 편해요.
표현상 문제의 경우, 단어 사용이 그렇게 폭넓다고 보기에는 조금 무리가 있습니다. 어휘에 올인하실 필요는 없지만, 그래도 종종 모범답안의 어휘 정리와 동의어 공부는 병행해주세요~수고하셨습니다 :)
목표점수는 6.5정도 되면 좋을것 같습니다.