The chart gives
information concerning the amount of times hours that people use modern technology
divided into four categories per month between 1980 and 2015. Overall, the use of
television, computer and smartphone rose steadily in usage without any fluctuation
during the period, but the use of radio showed a slight fluctuation between 1995
and 2015.
Between 1980 and 1995, radio was the most
popular device. Although use of radio decreased gradually from 380 hours (여기 포함해서 단위는 싹 다 넣어주시면 됩니다. 단위는 절대로 생략하지 않도록 해주세요!) to 140
between 1990 and 2005, it increased considerably by approximately 290 between
2005 and 2015. Also, it is notable that use of computer showed low numbers/hours use from
1980 to 1995 compared with radio, but after 1995, it increased steadily until
2015. After all, it became the most popular device in 2015. This figure was
approximately 370.
It is also noteworthy that
use of smartphone showed the lowest numbers/hours use from 1980 to 2005. However, after
smartphone was released, the use of smartphone skyrocketed between 2005 and
2015. This figure increased from almost 0 in 1980 to 350 in 2015. Moreover,
there was an interesting change at the use of television. The use of television
showed relatively the most stable increase over the period. This figure
increased by about 190.
총평: (7/7/5/5) 6.0
내용 분석, 문단 배분 등은 잘 해주셨습니다. 그러나 이에 비해 표현상은 조금 아쉬웠고요. use등 핵심 표현들이 자주 쓰이는 것 외에도 문장 구조 자체도 거의 비슷비슷하므로 이에 대한 타개책이 필요합니다. 또한, 단위는 절대 생략 불가이므로 잘 넣어주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)
197