▶ Your Answer : As developements of medication and quality of people's lives, the life span has increased and will go up in the furure. There are many problems about augmenting older people, because young people have many burdens to support the old.
More longer life is good for individuals, especially rich people, but usual elderly people have many concerns about meeting facing living costs. The government supports them by giving some money, but it is becoming short lower. That is because, while the aged people are increasing, babies are rearely born. The balance in every ages is very important, but now, the imbalance threats a nation invisibly. The government should impose people more taxes to people to retain stable money, and not only they have problems which is mainly about retirement pensions, but also there are other concerns about health care services, giving workplaces and housing shortage and so on>> 이게 건강과 퇴직연금 등에 관련이 있지 않아서 적절치 않은 듯 싶습니다.
Longer life is not just important. Better life is much more valuable for people. Individuals want to live comfortably at their late ages, and many people try to prepare for the time after retirement. However, present silver aged people almost >> 이 부분이 더 적절할 듯 싶습니다 did not almost think about it. That is because they were just busy with working and growing children up, when they were young. Thus, they have no choice but to rely on their children for thier rest of lives. They are being turned into a burden to the young.
I believe that there are a lot of more negative sides than positive ones. Young people should care older people. As their efforts to establish advancements existed, and younger people can live well these days. The Governments also has to set up the long-term plans for their citizens' better lives.
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Task Achievement - 7
Coherence and Cohesion - 7
Lexical Resource - 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.5 예상합니다 |