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The graph chart >> 문제랑 주어, 동사 부분을 거의 필수적으로 바꿔주셔야 합니다 presents the changes of profits of car retail companies in Australia over the course of the year >> 금년이라는 뜻이니 the financial year between the latter half of 2003 and the former one of 2004 가 좋겠네요.
For acme sports cars, the profits of sales started at 70,000 dollars in July, 2003 and there was a minimal decline in August but it recovered the same at first recover 자체가 원상태로 회복한다는 뜻이 내포된 단어입니다 during the end of the first quarter. It, then, suddenly decreased to 10,000 dollars for three months. From the end of the third quarter to the first of the end of the financial year, the monthly profits were steadily lowered at about 10,000 dollars>> 낮아졌는데 먼저 10,000달러와 같이 쓴다면 이상하죠 약 9,500 정도라고라도 숫자를 바꿔주세요, but, after that, it increased to 40,000 dollars until June, 2004.
For Branson Motors, despite that >> despite 다음은 명사입니다 the profits of sales was low at the beginning, comparing to Acme sports cars, it showed an upwards until October. From then, it experienced a leveling off at 60,000 dollars until the end of second quarter and there was a slight fluctuation for the next quarter. After that, the profits were almost no changes until June, 2004.
Overall, the profits of the two companies were totally different for over a the>> 이미 몇년에 몇월인지도 아니까 the를 썼구요 for 자체가 ~동안이라 over는 필요없습니다 year. When the one's profits were high, the other's profits were low.
아이엘츠 Task1 에서 도표 혹은 그래프가 제시되었으면 주제를 막론하고 비교가 가장 중요하고 중점적으로 이뤄져야 합니다 지금은 각 회사들의 나열 정도 밖에 있지 않습니다 비교가 분석이기도 하구요 결국 분석은 비교를 포함해야 합니다 그래도 전반적인 경향 등의 설명을 해주셨네요 문법이나 논리 부분에서 오류가 있는데 봐주세요
Task Achievement - 5
Coherence and Cohesion - 6
Lexical Resource - 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.5 예상합니다
아래 Task2 와 함께 채점 시 writing 점수는 6.0 예상합니다 |