=>제 의견은 동의한다고 쓴 에세이였어요. 엉성은 하지만, 지금 이 구조가 좀 부실한가요? 좀 더 구체적으로 지적해 주셨으면 좋겠어요.:D 동의한다고 하면서 3가지 주제문과 서포팅을 한 거라고 생각한건데, '지나가다'님이 보셨을때, 어디가 문제라고 생각하세요?
답변 감사합니다.:D
Some people believe that people do not need to go to the public museum and art gallery because these days most people can see the picture on the Internet. Agree or disagree? |
Recently, ther are many people who have been using the computer on the Internet to gain information.Some people believe that most people will be able to use the computer more better thatn to go to the public museum and art gallery nowadays. However others argue that it is not good the government position because they would need to develop their country's culture and so on.This essay will discuss both sides of the issue and my position will be discussed in conclusion.
In the first place, there days most people who have using the computer in their school or office would not want to go to the public museum and art gallery for their work. That is, they do not want to be wast time and saving money. For instance if they go to the museum and gallery they could find out information which means how to get there and how many to pay.
In the scecond place,children would need some data which is the picture and lots of information on the Internet for their homework from the school. In other words, studying student would find out a wide variety of information what they need. For example, according to the survey most students in Japan gain knowledge which is several school works from the computer as they use it.
Lastly,if people want to know the other countries culture and picture, they can see through the computer. Tha is, there are millions of culture and picture in other countries. As an illustrate, they do not need to take plain or train if people could travell to other countries or interested in. Because they can click data which they want to find out some information on the Internet.
In conclusion, the government should try to introduce a variety of program which people can use easy to find their museum and gallery even foreign to go to there. |