▶ Your Answer :
As some languages are continually incorporated
into principal ones, some people begin to think that they could have a more
convenient life with a small number of languages because the trend will make
our life simpler. Besides, many people consider the phenomena as unimportant
since they expect that it would not have a great influence on society. In this
essay, I will discuss on the ripple effects of the drift and suggest my
viewpoint on the issue. <(agree/disagree에 대한 thesis statement을 써주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 물로 discussion도 하셔야하지만 그 discussion이 글쓴이의 주장을 support해 주는 것 이기 때문에 글쓴이의 주장이 보여야합니다)
With aboriginal languages becoming
dramatically extinct, minority of languages such as English , Spanish, and French
initiate to dominate many parts of the planet. As a result, people can easily
communicate with other people living in the other regions of the earth as a few
official languages are widely used for business and academic purposes. On the
other hand, people commence to realize that several dominant languages cannot
cover the unique nuances and emotions that a specific community has shared for
a long time, which would bring out miscommunication and misunderstanding with each
other. Hence, it would require people to establish more complicated and elaborate
grammatical structures to extirpate possible misapprehensions, which is
extremely important in linguistic and makes language systems more complex.
Furthermore, the
language extinction could widen and deepen gaps between generations. For example,
in Yanbian Korean
Autonomous Prefecture, young people do not learn Korean and they only study
Chinese. Therefore, the Korean language is dying out in the community. By
contrast, old people of the district prefer to use Korean instead of Chinese China to
remember their origin and lineage. The difference of languages has caused the
rupture of communication between the generations, which is one of the main
reasons to create social and cultural conflicts between them pervasive in the
society. Accordingly, the phenomenon should not be overlooked and have to be
deal with in depth because it could produce severe problems in a community.
From my perspective, I disagree with the
standpoints that the disappearance of languages is not crucial in our society and
expectation that it will make life more uncomplicated. As can be seen above, it
is obvious that the trend will force people to make intricate linguistic systems
and produce serious matters.
Score: 5.5 Comment: 내용은 좋은데 질문에 대한 답을 해주고 있지는 않습니다. Discussion question이 아니라 글쓴이의 주장을 물어보는 것 이기 때문에 주장을 conclusion이 아니라 에세이 자체가 질문에 대한 글쓴이의 답과 그 답을 supporting해주는 논리과 reasoning을 해주셔야합니다. 주제에 대한 discussion은 글쓴이의 주장을 support하는 방식으로 서술 해주시면 될 것 같습니다. 내용 자체는 좋은 support입니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
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