▶ Your Answer :
There is an issue that is concerned sincerely by some people. They insist that the obese people should take healthcare system and invest more on physical education in school. In my opinion, I definitely agree with the statement above that it has some of advantages since the developments of these systems can tackle the issue of deterioration of public health.
Firstly, taking physical education in school is very helpful for student to burn unnecessary calories. Most of obese people seem that they do not work out very much. During the class, if they take the lecture, they technically would work out even if they do not want to. For example, before school did not have a mandatory physical class, student did not exercise. On the other hand, after school implemented some classes relating to physical education, student would work out. As result, student have a chance to lose their weight.
Another benefit point is that obese students are able to know how important and why important their health is through the theory of physical education. In other words, physical education includes not only practical exercises but also teaches about the theories and facts relating to our health. For example, teacher would teach the student what kind of diseases students are able to get because of overweight. This is quite effective for the student to know why they have to lose their weight.
In conclusion, taking health care lecture including practical physical class and theory of education in school is very beneficial for overweight. People to recognize why they have to and how important it is to lose weight.
Word Count: 243자 (글자 수 미달)
Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Lexical Resource
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy
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TOTAL
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5
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4
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3
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2
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3.5
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