▶ Your Answer :
The given bar chart compares the ratio of Australian males and females among various age groups who exercised regularly in the year 2010. It is clearly shown that females did physical activity regularly more than males overall in Australia at in the given period. You can also see that trend in each gender between gender is different difference before and after the age 25. When it comes to Australian men, the age group 15 to 24 has the highest percentage (52.8%). However, after that ages, the number dropped dramatically to 42.2% among age 25 to 44 aged, and age group 35 to 44 exercised the least (39.5%). It is seen that the percentage of Australian men exercising gradually increased as the age goes up to 46.7% among in over 65 years old men. On the other hand, the proportion of females doing regular physical activity climbed moderately until age 45. Then, 45 to 54 age group of Australian women had the highest ratio of all with 53.3%, while the figure of older after that ages than those the figure went down to 47.1% which is the lowest ratio.
IELTS 1-9 score scale score: 6.5 good user
전체적인 추세를 이야기하고 남/녀와 나이그룹에 따라 보이는 양상을 잘 설명해주신 것 같아요. 정확한 전달이 가능하도록 표현이 좀 더 간결하게 정리되어도 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다~! 아이엘츠 라이팅 채점기준 참고하세요 - TA/TR(Task Achievement/Task Response) 문제에 정확히 답변, 적정 분량 - CC(Coherence and Cohesion) 일관성, 응집성 - LR(Lexical Resource) 다양한 어휘표현
- GR(Grammatical Range and Accuracy) 문법 다양성, 정확성 |