▶ Your Answer :
For the presense of diversity of personal activitiesy, the ways of using leisure time are also diverse from depend on one's individual interest and circumstance. ThoughHowever, some argues that childrebn's leisure activity should be helpful for educational purpose. So, in my opinion, educational activitiesy for children in their leisure time is very important for several reasons.
First of all, children can gain a educational effects that can not cannot (붙여서 사용) be acquired in school. For example, attending a studying activity is effective the supplement of the educational source as learning a curriculum cources related the academin in advance ??이해가 되지 않는 문장. Secondly, it can prevent a waste of money form spending the private education. Especially, korean parents are easily affected by the private educational market for their children. For this reason, they usually depend on the academic ?academy..? for supple ? some courses related to the school's curriculum. In this regard, educational leisure activities haves a benefit in terms of the savinge money and time as compensate chidlren's ability of the part of education ???.
On top of that, spending leisure activity time for educational method can prevent the influence from the devitation deviation?. Because adolescences especially has a sensitive emotion, they always do a behavior, which is can not allowed for teenager, such a activity, such as smoking, drinking a beer, and going around a streetn in at night. Nevertheless, some of them still do these activitesy, even after they regret for about their behavior in the childhood consequently. Therefore, as they doing a meaningful activitesy that haves a positive effects for their emotion, it can prevenrt from the devitation. So, to make a healthy mind, children should use their time for educational method.
In conculsion, although using leisure time is one's choice for any purpose. It (, it) is sure that students should pursue the academical aspret aspect? for helpful their education. So, I agreed with the idea that children's leisure activity should have an educational purpose.
SCORE: 4.5
Comment: 이해가 되지 않는 부분이 많으며 기초적인 문법 실수가 너무 많습니다. e.g. 관사, 스펠링, 단/복수.. |