▶ Your Answer :
There are diverse diversity opinions about whether that learning
a foreigner language as soon as at an earlier age is better than in secondary school their school age.
The linguists who object to educating the
second language early insist it will encourage various side effects to children.
Also they worry that if parents try to teach dual languages to their children, they
might be not be able to learn even their mother tongue well.
However in my view, I don’t<(formal essay에는 contraction을 쓰지 않습니다) agree the
proponents who have negative opinions about early language education. In this
essay, I will talk about many sorts of benefit from early learning foreign language at an early age. <애 내용을 한 문단으로 complete한 paragraph으로 introduction을 써주셔야합니다. stand alone sentences, in complete paragraph는 감점 요인이 될 수 있습니다. 또한 질문은 agree disagree 질문 보다는 statement의 advantage가 disadvantage을 outweigh하느냐 입니다. thesis statement이랑 내용을 조금 수정 하시는 것 을 추천 합니다)
First, by learning the language earlier, children they can achieve equal level of another language skill with their mother tongue. In a 2010
research, some of linguists in Korea published that children who start learning
English in their babyhood have much more possibilities to being bilingual. <(질문은 primary school 에서 배운것에 focus를 두었습니다. 즉 초등학교를 말하고 있습니다) The study
said, when during early childhood, children can learn any language as their mother tongue.
Because of this reason, teaching mother tongue and another language to early young children coincidentally contributes them to be multilingual.
Secondly, being multilingual multiple lingual helps young starters they
have a lot of many opportunities to get global job in the future. In these days, almost of
countries prefer employees who are proficient at foreign languages. Big companies
tend to extend their branches around to the world. In this situation, they need people
who can communicate in foreign languages professionally. In this trend of
market, bilingual cannot but be advantageous than other people. <(multilingual 한것 보다는 어렸을때 언어를 배우는 것에 대한 장점에 focus을 두시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다.)
In conclusion, although there are a few
sort of disadvantages <(such as?) in learning foreign languages starting from primary school earlier, it is less than
benefit of being beneficial than being bilingual. Also if we try to prevent side effects, we can
maximize the advantage of learning foreign language in early ages. (279words)
Score: 4 Comment: Composition에 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 내용상 advantages를 잘 서술해주셨는데 advantages가 disadvantage를 outweigh한다는 답과 reasoning/support는 하지 않으셨습니다. 문법상 표현을 자주 많이 잘못 쓰시거나 (형태/의미/문구), 말이 안되는 표현을 쓰시거나, 문맥/collocation살 틀린 단어를 쓰고 계십니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 코멘트나 수정을 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
|