■ DirectionYou have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.■ QuestionSummarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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INTERNATIONAL ENGLISH LANGUAGE TESTING SYSTEM WRITING ANSWER BOOKLET Candidate Name:텍스트 | Candidate Number:텍스트 | Centre Number:텍스트1 | Date:텍스트1 |
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Topic ▼ Nowadays, an increasing number of people are changing
their careers during their working life period. What are reasons behind this
trend? Is it generally a positive or negative trend? |
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Your Answer ▼
Some
people are changing their whole career paths frequently (둘은 의미가 전혀 다릅니다.) during their life time. I think
this happens when individuals are misguided as well as when economy cycles go up and
down. I also believe this could be negative because of the opportunity cost and
impact on the economy. There
are reasons why people change their careers. As for For the personal reason, more
people do not know what their interests and aptitudes are, and realize that their
choice is wrong during work. This is mainly because the society gives students
less opportunities to search for the future career, due to the social
atmosphere putting more importance on entering good universities and well-known
firms. For example, recent survey results show that students choose their future
mainly according to their academic performances, rather than their interest. In
addition, changes in demands in the labor market also could be another reason
for individuals’ career change from the view of economy. That is, the demands
for labor in various industries tend to fluctuate, which contribute to the movements
of workers from one sector to another one. (특정 산업, 직군 등을 들어서 구체적으로 설명해주시면 좋을 것 같아요.)
I
believe that the career change usually affects negatively on individuals,
businesses, and sometimes on the whole country. To individuals, they have to
learn new knowledge and skills to change their careers, which takes cost. Businesses
also need/have to spend more money to recruit new employees after losing staffs which cause an
opportunity cost. Lastly, if the number of people who seek a new job increase,
this would be a symptom of the bad economy. In fact, when the unemployment rate
is high, the national economy is usually inactive, with low savings, less
investments in private sectors, and huge losses of tax revenues. (세 개를 짧게 적는 대신, 두 개 정도만 남기고 각각을 상세하게 설명해주세요~예를 들면, 현재 비즈니스~로 시작하는 문장은 부연 설명이 전혀 없기 때문에 사실 있으나 마나입니다. 그 앞의 문장도 마찬가지이고요.)
In conclusion, individuals choose to change their
jobs because of their misconception or changes in the labor market. I believe this
is not helpful for individuals, businesses and the country, because changing
workplaces costs money for every stakeholders. In addition, when the career
change is related to the high unemployment rate, it could be considerably
negative on the national economy. |
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EXAMINER’S USE ONLY | Total Score: 6.5/9 | Examiner: | | TR (Task Response) | CC (Coherence and Cohesion) | LR (Lexical Resource) | GRA (Grammatical Range and Accuracy) | Score | 6/9 | 7/9 | 6/9 | 7/9 |
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Comment ▼ 안녕하세요 :) 이 글만 봤을 때에는 6.5는 충분히 가능해보이네요. (단, task 1도 봐야 합니다. 보통 문제는 이쪽에서 생겨요.)
영작 실력은 그럭저럭 깔끔하신 것 같아서, 내용상 보완점에 대해서 말씀드리자면, 위에 언급해드린 것과 같이 근거 전개를 할 때 여러 개를 짧게 딱딱 나열하는 게 아니라, 갯수 자체는 적어도 각 근거에 대한 설명이 질적으로 완성될 수 있도록 해주셔야 합니다. 문단별로 1~2개면 충분하니까, '부연 설명' 에 가치를 두고 글을 전개해주세요~수고하셨습니다 :) |
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안녕하세요 저는 6.5 목표로 하고 있고 11월말 시험 예정입니다(6년전 6.0을 받은 적이 있습니다). 시간을 재고 쓴 에세이입니다.