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By >> by four years 라고 하게 된다면 앞으로의 4년까지를 말합니다 every four year four years, global festivals have been held here>>?? and there in the world such as the Olympics and the World Cup. After one month in the June 2014, World cup should held in Brazil. Some people think that international sports competitions are the global festival while others think that it just administration of exhibition in political stand. I will discuss below what I agree or not. >> 논지 파악의 오류인 듯 싶습니다 정치적인 관점에 대해선 문제에서 언급되지 않았습니다
To begin with, I was watched the news on the Internet which many brazilian citizens protest to prevent hold the World Cup because they maintain that the government only focus on the World cup and many pending issues are neglected by them the global event. Brazil held will hold the World Cup in 2014 and the summer Olympics in 2016 and . Afterthat, the holding country will be able to to be show off their economic growth over the world. They >>?? argue that these international sports competitions do not have innocent purpose. >> 마지막 문장이 맨 처음으로 나와 주장으로 쓰여야 하고 그 다음 show off 문장을 쓴 후 그에 맞는 예시를 써주세요 보류 중인 문제들을 무시하는 등의 문제와 show off 하는 것관 관련이 없습니다
On the other hand, some people support the right function of the Olympics and the World Cup. It is just a sports festival without any political purpose and strive >> who strives ? for global unification by sports. For example, many surveys back up this opinion, which a from Gallup Poll regarding this and announce the result. The questions is that "What do you think international sports competition outweigh disadvantage?" and 70 percent of all response are replied "Yes", >> 반면에란 뜻의 while 앞엔 콤마입니다 while just 30 percent replied "No". I firmly agree with this result and maintain that through this >>?? sports festival could encourage the global harmony and could contribute to global peace of the world peace. In June 2014, I should cheer Korea soccer team innocently. Sports must be a sport
필요없는 말이 너무 많습니다
결론도 없구요
두번째 본문에선 survey가 이랬다 정도지 어떤 질문의 survey 중 몇 퍼센트는 뭐 몇 퍼센트는 뭐라고 할 필요가 없습니다 그냥 뭐에 관한 survey 중 70%의 사람이 찬성했다 정도로 끝내면 됩니다
Task Achievement - 4 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 4
4.5 예상합니다 |