This table illustrates the changes of the average distance with miles of travelling in the UK using different types of modes between 1985 and 2005.
(제가 나눠드린 것과 같이, 문단이 구분될 때에는 엔터를 두 번 쳐주시면 됩니다. 이것도 점수에 들어가므로 주의해주세요!)
In general, the total distance of travel increased by about 1,700 (숫자가 네 자리를 넘어가는 경우 쉼표를 넣어주셔야 합니다. 이것도 문법의 일종이므로 참고해주세요~) miles over 15 years. In addition, the distance of travelling with through car was much larger longer (길이의 경우 길다 짧다로 하지, 크다 작다라고 하지는 않습니다.) than other 7 combined in both 1985 and 2000.
To be specific, there are three modes that experienced a decrease in travel distance in 2000. Walking, bicycle, and local bus dropped in number, and local bus decreased the most as of 155 miles. Moreover In contrast, the travel distance with car rose the most during 15 years with around 1,606 more miles. Taxi had the shortest least travel distance with the number of 13 miles in 1985, but it increased more than 3 times in 2000. As there were changes in each transportation, the ranking of average distance of traveling also changed. However, the ranks of walking, car, and train are still remained as the fifth, first and sixth.
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
거리를 길다 짧다가 아닌 크다 작다로 표현할 경우 두 개 영역에서 동시 감점이 들어갈 확률이 높아지기 때문에 주의해주셔야 합니다. 또한 마지막 문단 중반부에 단위가 생략된 경우가 보였는데, 이 부분에 대해서도 주의해주세요! 단위는 극히 예외적인 경우를 제외하고 절대로 생략하거나 임의로 건드려서는 안 됩니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)