Your Answer ▼ It is a common belief that by developing artificial intelligence, humans will be superseded by robots in the workforce. However, there is a more persuasive argument that people will always play a vital role in many occupations. This is because machines will never be able to perform at the same level as humans in most jobs. (이거는 굳이 여기서 넣지 않아도 되긴 합니다. 대신, 서론에서 웬만하면 필요한 것은 앞으로 글이 어떻게 전개될 것인지에 대한 소개를 하는 문장입니다.)
(현재 본론 첫 번째 문단이 매우 잘 쓰여서, 다른 수험생분들도 참고해보시라고 해당 문단의 구조를 색깔로 표시해드리는 거니까, mm님은 신경쓰실 필요 없습니다!)
One the one hand, people think that artificial intelligence will lead to humans being replaced by machinery or computers (주장) since automated programs are able to work much more efficiently and generate more income than people. Robotic machines have already taken over roles that traditionally were occupied by humans in factories and other workplaces. (근거) For instance, one major automobile company was able to increase its efficiency by replacing workers with automated machines. Since machines can operate continually at higher speeds, the company reduced production time significantly and cut the cost of manufacturing by 30 percent, resulting in a considerable increase in profits. (구체화)
이 글을 보시는 다른 수험생분들이 계신다면, 기본적으로 본론은 지금과 같이만 작성하면 됩니다. 현재 문단은 해당 문단의 중심 내용이 되는 '주장' 을 언급하고, 그 주장에 대한 '근거' 를 서술한 뒤에, 그 근거를 보다 구체적으로 설명할 수 있는 예시 등의 '구체화' 가 깔끔하게 갖춰져있습니다. 이 본론 하나만 놓고 보면 충분히 모범답안으로도 쓰일 수 있을 거에요.
Nevertheless, humans will always be an essential part of the workforce because there are many tasks that machines are not able to do as well as humans. In fact, the ability of machines to match or exceed human efficiency is currently limited to very few professions. For instance, although the technology to perform surgery with machines was developed long ago, the procedures that they can complete are limited, and humans will carry out most surgical operations. Furthermore, even if robotic surgeons were to be utilized more, it is likely that they would only be used under the supervision of trained surgeons who could step in if something went wrong.
To sum up, while it is apparent that there is concern that artificial intelligence will make the work of humans redundant, it is undeniable that people will never be totally removed from the workplace. (왜 이렇게 생각하셨는지에 대해 간단하게나마 근거를 요약해주셔야 합니다.) |