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From my perspective,
universities should offer equal educational opportunity to male and female
students. However, I do not agree with
the argument that educational institutions have to give them equal chances in
every major.
First
of all, educational institutions have to decide the proportion of men and women
according to the number of applicants because it is crucial for university operation
and their budget. Let me explain my
views on this, I will take an example. (구어체를 사용하지 말아주세요~) There
is a university in Seoul city and more than 75% of women (이렇게 작성할 경우, 전체 여성 중 75%가 이 대학교에 지원했다는 의미가 되어버립니다.) have applied for
admission. As a result, the president in
the University inevitably separated the proportion of male and female students at
7:3 in most subjects since 1990. The decision
has been an impact on the tradition of the university for a long time. (여기는 표현상의 오류로 인해 '그 이후 계속 전통이 되어왔다는 것인지', 혹은 '그 이후 영향을 주게 되었다는 것인지' 등 여러 의미로 해석되는데, 의도하신 바에 대해 댓글 한번 주세요!) Therefore, equal numbers of male and female pupils
cannot be applied in every subject and every school.
Apart
from the feature of schools, the proportion in male and female students has to
be adjusted to majors, for some majors can be more famous with a certain gender
than the other. In case of a/the nursing department,
although the number of male students has been sharply increased last ten years,
the amount of female students is still overwhelming in Asian countries. Because of this, universities cannot accept
same ratio of men and women. Therefore,
the opportunity accepting the same proportion of male and female students would
not be applied in entire subject.
In
a nutshell, Even even though equal educational chances for male and female students
are requisite, I fervently believe that it should be depend on their
characteristics of universities and their majors.
총평: 6.0 (6/5/7/6) 본론 첫 번째 문단의 경우는 문단 전반적으로 여러 문제가 있으므로, 위에 표시해드린 부분을 꼭 수정해주세요! 특히 저 75%처럼, 표현상의 미숙으로 인해 내가 의도한 바와는 달리 의미가 완전히 달라질 수 있으므로 주의해주셔야 합니다. 수고하셨습니다 :) |