It is controversial whether freedom is should be accepted without reserve or not. (reserve를 어떤 의미로 쓰셨는지. 어쨌든 말은 되지 않네요.) Some people say that freedom should not be confined because it is a basic right of human. However, I strongly believe that only properly limited freedom can bring real freedom in terms of keeping safety of society and protecting rights of people.
Firstly, it is essential to restrain freedom appropriately for safety of society. (같은 단어나 문장을 반복하는것을 피해주세요.) to secure our society. By banning dangerous actions like a narcotic, stealing, having guns that someone wants to do, we can maintain the safety in our society. For example, according to CNN, Cable News Network in the U.S.A. in U.S.A. where permits having guns are permitted, gun accidents happening take place nearly 10,000 annually. On the other hand, as seen from the Minister of Korean police reported that gun accidents rarely had happened in Korea last past 10 years, because Korea is prohibiting having guns. Thus, suitable limitation is good for maintaining our safety.
Secondly, we should limit freedom for keeping rights of people. Freedom is very crucial for human. By having freedom people can do and enjoy all kinds of things. However, when these things harm other people, it is no longer freedom, it is a crime. For example, when I was a university student, I shared house with my friend, Jessica, she turned on music loudly every night until about 3 A.M. I required asked her to turn down the volume but she did not agree that do it and claimed her freedom instead. As a result, I moved to other house. Thus properly restrained freedom is important. (문맥상 쌩뚱맞은 느낌이 듭니다. 제시카와의 일화와 연결시켜주는 설명이 필요하네요.)
To sum up, In order to maintaining safety and rights of people, freedom is should be relevantly limited.
Conclusion 또한 신경써서 써주어야 합니다.
사소한 복수형의 단어나 관사에 쓰임에도 주의해주세요.
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