안녕하세요, 해커스 교재에 있는 문제 중에 답지를 참고해서 제 답변을 만들어봤는데, 첨삭 부탁드리겠습니다 !
=================================================================
Q. The government should sometimes infringe on people's freedom for the security of society.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
A.
Some people think that an individual's right to freedom has priority over the security of society. However, I firmly believe that people's freedom should can be violated by the government when the purpose is to prevent potential dangers and ensure that safety regulations are observed.
To begin with, the infringement of people's freedom can be justified when protecting people from danger is the main purpose. Given the recent increase in violence throughout the world, measures must be taken to prevent potential attacks, such as those committed by terrorists. For example, airports around the world conduct security checks on people and their belongings to prohibit bombings (terrors 가 조금 더 나아보이긴 합니다.) or the transport of dangerous materials. Even though this is the violation of personal space, it is necessary to prevent everyone from harm. Thus, the government should have the right to trespass on one's privacy.
In addition, the government can infringe on people's freedom to make sure that the safety regulations are followed. Certain jobs can endanger people's lives when employees do not act safely and responsibly. Therefore, it is important to ensure that these employees follow safety rules even if their rights are violated to a certain degree. Take the example of school bus drivers and pilots. If they As an example, if school bus drivers and pilots are not functioning at full capacity, they will not be able to perform their takes safely. In this regard, it is acceptable to make them undergo random medical tests to ensure that they are healthy and capable. This is necessary to guarantee that these people are not putting other's lives in dangers.
In conclusion, the infringement of people's freedom is inevitable if the main priority of the government is to protect society from harm and make sure that individuals follow the necessary rules. For these reasons, violating an individual's freedom is sometimes necessary. (앞에서 했던 말입니다.)
=================================================================
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
일단 이 글 자체는 매우 잘 쓰인 글입니다. 빨간 부분이 많지 않다는 것이 이를 증명하죠. 단, 저희 책 답지를 참고하셨다고 말씀해주셨는데, 과연 그 참고의 정도가 얼마나 되는지에 따라서 실전에서의 점수가 달라질 것 같네요. 그래도 기본적으로 영어 실력은 갖추고 게신 것 같기 때문에 적어도 task2에서는 크게 걱정이 없어보입니다. (대신 task1은 전혀 다른 영역입니다.)
수고하셨습니다 :)