Full-time university students spend most of their time in class or working on assignments. However, some people think that it is important for students to get involved in non-academic activities on campus as well (for example, to join a sports team or take part in drama). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently most students join a university to get
a good job after graduation. Thus, they just think about grades and activities
that they can write on a/the/their resume for employment. Therefore, some people think non-academic
activities such as joining a club are a waste of time wasting time. However, I totally agree
with the argument that various activities apart from excepting academic things are very
important on campus. This essay will provide the reasons.
First of all, university students are still young. They have to experience as many things as possible during 4 years. Various experiences can be helpful in their lives and effect on their future. If they spend time on just academic activities related to their major, they might miss a lot of chance to learn other things which are more important than grade. Nobody knows how their lives change and which difficulty they will have in the future. The more they experienced many things, the better they can deal with at that time. Thus, every activity on campus, even such as traveling to new places, joining a sports club and meeting new people, will be useful for their lives in the future.
Also, there are many things to learn through non-academic activities and it is a good source to write on a resume. Some people who consider non-academic activities as time-wasting think that these activities are not helpful for their employment. However, there is one thing at least they can learn on any activity. For example, they can learn (크게 중요한 사항은 아닌데, 이 친구의 경우 너무 자주 쓰이긴 했습니다.) how to associate with other people and how to assist other members by joining a sports club. While they exercise on sports club, they have to cooperate with other students to win. It is very important to associate with other people well on social life. Thus, they can write on their resume about teamwork (붙여주셔야 합니다.) based on sports club experience.
In conclusion, getting
a good score is important at university and it will have an effect on employment
after graduation. However, it is a period that they have to experience and
learn as many things as possible as they can. It will be a precious asset in the
future.
총평: (7/7/6/7) 7.0
단어 사용의 경우는 조금 아쉬웠지만, 나머지는 괜찮게 써주셨습니다. 어차피 단어보다는 문법의 깔끔함이 훨씬 더 중요한 요소이기 때문에 특별히 걱정하실 것도 없고요.
수고하셨습니다 :)