People think that countries should produce foods that their population eats and import less food as much as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that
countries need to produce and consume foods as much as possible domestically.
Others regard that not only they need to produce foods for their population,
but also they need to import foods. Personally I strongly believe that foods
need to be used internationally.
To begin with, I want
to focus on the importance of import as well as export to live in this
globalized period. There will be less opportunity to export foods produced in
my country if we do not import foods from other countries. (여기의 경우 굳이 1인칭을 쓰면서까지 나로 한정지을 필요가 없습니다. 그냥 일반론으로 가시는 게 나아요.) It is crucial
to build a strong bond with other countries to make international profits by
exchanging foods. In addition, this action will bring a huge contribution to
scientific aspects as well. Globalization brought many developments in a the field
of science that use foods such as Genetically Modified (GM) foods
investigation. I had seen a program of National Geographic which dealt with
foods study with GM crops which were imported and exported among the USA and Canada.
It was successful and profitable because there were vibrant food exchanges.
Moreover, imported
foods would contribute to develop people’s healthy life. Especially, I want to
concentrate on imported fruits. My country’s agriculture
technology is limited to produce only restricted kinds of fruits and
vegetables. (반대로 위와 달리, 이러한 경우에는 충분히 1인칭을 통해 나로 한정지을 이유가 있고요.) There are a variety of nutritious foods in other countries. For
instance, although blueberries and cherries are well-known fruits for
developing eyesight, it is hard to consume those healthy foods without an
importing because it is impossible to get those fruits by domestic farming in
my country. The government should guarantee the development of people’s
well-being, so it is required to import as much as various foods as possible.
In conclusion,
importing foods will bring about good relationship with other countries as well
as high income. Additionally, it will contribute to healthy and nutritious life
of our population. (고로 최대한 많은 수입을 하는 것이 좋다~로 마무리해주시면 됩니다.)
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
간혹가다가 d_D님 실력에 비해 다소 아쉬운 부분들이 보이긴 했으나, 그래도 전반적으로는 잘 써주셨습니다. 대신 결론에서 핵심 주장이 빠져있는 상황이므로, 여기만 넣어주시면 되겠습니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)