1. 라이팅에서의 목표점수: 6.5
2. 다음시험 날짜 그리고 위의 점수를 아무리 늦어도 언제까지는 만들어야 하는지: 최소 2021년 8월
3. 현재 글을 쓰는데에 몇분이 걸렸는지 + 단어수 + 외부도움: 30분 +468단어 + 외부도움X
4. 그 외 제가 알아두면 도움될만한 기타 정보나 현재 학생 여러분들의 공부상황: 영국대학 오퍼를 받았고 아이엘츠 제출을 위해 군대에서 독학중입니다 감사합니다
+++++ 10월 28일 첫 아이엘츠 응시 6.0 이상 기대
In general, the advertising have advertisements influenced to humanity a lot since people started to trade merchandise with others. This being so, the advertising is still a great issue that people can face everyday in their daily lives. In these days, plenty of people regard the advertising extremely significant because it the advertising can be a successful way to persuade people to buy some products. However, there are some people who criticize that advertising became become so common that people don't pay attention to it the advertising.
First of all, there There are lots of people who believe that the advertising is a great method to persuade many people in society to buy products. These kinds of people might think the advertising it can accelerate to show products or services to more people. Nowadays, plenty of people are still influenced by the special types of advertising in their daily lives. For instance, as technology develops, people cannot avoid using social network services such as Instagram or Facebook. This being so, many marketers use some advertising on these kinds of social media, and they are able to make more profits because people use these types of social network service every day. Consequently, some people assert that the advertising is extremely successful at persuading people to buy things.
Secondly, However there are also some people who insist tat the advertising cannot be the useful way anymore. These kinds of people believe that now there are a lot of commercials advertising, and it becomes so common for attracting people's attention. Nowadays, there are many people who stop watching TV or using the Internet because they think those activities are a waste of time, and also they assert that there are too many advertisements advertising when they do those kinds of activities. These people might think they don't (줄임말은 풀어써주세요!) want to pay attention to the advertising. For example, there are some people who don't want to watch some videos on YouTube because there are a lot of not boring advertisments interested advertising which distract people's watching. Finally, some people believe that advertising is so common to catch people's interest.
In my opinion, I would say that the advertising is still a great way and it will be remained as the greatest method to persuade many people in society to buy things. As the world changes rapidly, the advertising commercials which are made by marketers develops consistently. This being so, there are many fresh advertising in these days, and it affects a lot in marketing. For example, there are many special platforms such as blogs, YouTube channel and Instagram. People now can make special advertising while using these kinds of platforms, and it accelerate a lot of people who watch these social communities in their daily lives. Ultimately, I would assert that the advertising is a successful method to persuade other people to buy lots of products.
총평: (6/6/5/6) 6.0
이번 글도 6.0은 받긴 하는데, 사실 제이든님의 실력을 고려했을 때 6.5는 받으셔야 합니다. 조금 아쉽긴 해요. 내일 시험에서는 딱 한 가지만 신경쓰시면 되는데, 그건 바로
길게 쓰지 않는 것
입니다. 제이든님은 물론, 99%의 학생들은 글이 길어지면
1. 문법 문제가 생긴다.
2. 어휘가 단조로워진다.
3. 논리 문제가 생기거나 같은 말만 계속 반복한다.
중 최소 하나 이상이 발생합니다.
이번 글도 사실 2,3번이 유독 심했고요.
절대로 절대로 절대로 절대로 절대로 절대로 길게 쓰는 게 능사가 아니니까, 최대한 간결하게 쓰고 오세요! 시험 잘 치르고 오시고 좋은 소식 기대하겠습니다 :)
수고하셨습니다!