These days,
more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out
to work.
What could be
the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
As technology has developed,
there are various jobs in modern society. People have each desire that
individuals Each individuals desire to pursue their dream jobs. In accordance with trend, there have been
changes in family structure. Many reasons are thought In this essay, I will reveal some
reasons and positive developments of this trend.
First, the main reason
of this phenomenon is from gender equality. In the past, there were fixed ideas
that men should go work and women stay at home for their children in the past, so
women sacrificed and had to give up their dream or job. However, in modern
society, women look for and achieve what they want to do. Moreover, a lot of
men’s thoughts have has been changed, as some of them prefer to stay at home to
parenting and cooking. Therefore, this phenomenon occurs because married men
and women accept and respect what individuals want to do.
This circumstance
is a very positive development for all of us because the nation tries to make
less discrimination of gender so that the government sets up various policies. For
example, nowadays the governments make nation makes some laws that men are able to take parental leave as
well. Also, large firms establish some kindergartens or educational
institutions for employees’ children. More fathers do housework and take care
of children, they can understand women’s side and could have more affection to their
children.
In conclusion,
there are lots of positive effects on both gender and their children. Society
will have better gender equality’s policies. According to the social
circumstances, the government will publish diverse policies for people and companies. (이 글에서 묻고 있는 건 두 개입니다. 원인과 긍/부정의 여부가 이에 해당되죠. 그러면 요약도 두 개 다 해주셔야 하는데, 지금은 원인에 대한 요약이 되지 않은 상황입니다.)
257자
목표 : 6~6.5
감사합니다 :)
총평: (6/7/6/6/) 6.5
이번 글은 문법이 평소보다 조금 불안불안해서 6.0까지는 떨어질 수 있겠지만, 5점대는 절대 안 나올 겁니다. 결론은 꼭 수정해주시고, 비슷한 유형에서도 항상 글 전체가 요약될 수 있게 신경써주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)