The given bar graph gives information about how often Americans had ate in junk food stores in the
three years, 2003, 2006 and 2013.
On the
whole, it is clear that people who live in America usually ate out at the restaurants which sold fast food once a week and once a twice a month in the period shown.
Looking at
the bar more closely, around 30 per cent of Americans ate fast food once a
week, and especially in 2006, its figure peaks at the highest point at 33%. Likewise,
there are similar figures shown for those who that they consumed in junk food restaurants once or twice a month, from 25 per cent in 2006 to 33 per cent in 2013. Meanwhile, less
than 5% (5%라고 써도 되고, 5 percent라고 써도 되고, 5 per cent라고 써도 됩니다. 대신, 하나를 골랐으면 그걸 글 내내 유지할 수 있어야 해요. 이것도 엄연한 일관성의 문제라 점수에 들어갑니다.) of people who live in the USA always ate in fast-food restaurants
or never went had there between 2003 and 2013.
When it comes
to people that ate junk food in America a few times a year, it showed the same
figure, at 30% in the two different years, 2006 and 2013. Also, the percentage
of Americans that ate in fast food restaurant (여기에 빈도를 넣어주세요~) was 15 to 20 % in the given period.
30분 소요되었구요,
주어랑 관사 s 이런거에 신경을 조금 더 썼어요
그리고 6가지 다 언급하려니 시간이 많이 걸리는데 몇가지는 빼도 되나요?
감사합니다!
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
이정도로만 시간 내에 쓰시면 6.0 정도에는 어찌저찌 맞춰집니다. 대신 지금은 30분이 소요되었기 때문에 현실적으로는 5점대이겠지만요!
질문해주신 바에 대해서는 몇 가지를 빼도 된다가 아닌, 빼야한다라고 답변드릴 수 있을 것 같습니다. 자세한 건 링크를 하나 넣어드릴테니 2-4번을 참고해주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)
https://www.gohackers.com/?c=ielts/ielts_info2/ielts_writing&type=url&uid=461474