Students
should be encouraged to take part in exchange programmes in today’s globalized world.
To what
extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The
topic is saying whether students being motivated to take the exchange
programmes is right or wrong. My opinion about this topic is clearly agree. (다음부터는 서/결론의 경우 템플릿 적용해주시면 됩니다. 템플릿을 보시면 대략 어떤 느낌인지 아실 거에요.) I
think it is obviously necessary to encourage students to experience class of
other culture countries.
First of all, it is important to widen
students’ horizon in this globalized world. As to be a personnel of this world,
it is so important to have a flexible mind. I think that this is the basic
attitude for living in today’s world. Secondly reason, as a complement of the
first reason, I think that contacting with people from various cultures is
essential to be an open-mind person. Specially in Korea, Korea is yet less
globalized compared to other developed countries. Therefore, It it is almost
necessary to have chances to study abroad if the students need flexibility
about other cultures.
Lastly Furthermore, it could be a chance to refresh the
student’s study. I think having a proper time to relax is very important as well as
working hard and focusing on their study. They could make oversea friends from overseas and
enjoy their abroad living. Thus, encouraging students to attend exchange
programmes is are essential as the aspect of refreshment refreshing.
To
finish my assay, I agree with the opinion that it is good to encourage students to take part in exchange programmes,
because refreshing by studying abroad and having the opportunity of experiencing
various culture are obviously required to students. I think exchange programmes
are the perfect way to satisfy these things. Also, There are numerous other reasons
why exchange programmes are great to students though I couldn’t mention them
all. (이런 거 쓰면 역효과입니다. 그냥 쓰지 마세요~)
* 목표 점수 : 6.0
* 시험 11월 말에 칠 예정이에요.
* 259단어, 34분 걸렸습니다. (사전 준비나 사후 첨삭 없는 글입니다.)
최근에 첨삭 받은 조언은 반영하지 못한 글이지만, Grammarly 없이 실전처럼 쓴 글로 평가 받아보고 싶어서 일단 올려봅니다!
총평: (6/6/6/5) 6.0
역시 6.0은 어찌저찌 받는 글이긴 한데, 템플릿을 보시면서 서/결론을 어떻게 써야하는지 감을 잡으시면 조금 더 나은 글이 될 겁니다. 단, 템플릿을 쓰더라도 유형별로 어느정도 변화는 가져가시는 게 좋습니다. 하나의 템플릿으로 모든 글을 때려박는 건 별로 좋지 못해요.
수고하셨습니다 :)