|
|||
<Topic> The first chart below shows how energy is used in
an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas
emissions which result from this energy use. |
|||
The give one pie
chart depicts the average usage of household energy and the other chart plots
the produced greenhouse gas according to the energy demands in Australia. Generally
speaking, some differences are observed in both charts. (이 부분은 굳이 필요하지 않긴 합니다.) Although the highest consumption
of the energy is heating, its greenhouse gas emission is one of the lowest. Water
heating’s use and its output shows a meagre discrepancy. Of Australian
household energy use, the segment of heating is by far the largest which
stood at 42%, is followed by that of water heating, 30%. Other appliances’ use
half less than that of water heating in the ratio which contributes to the total.
Refrigeration, lighting, and cooling indicates marginal slices of the pie, at (혹은 기타 적절한 표현) 7%, 4%,
and 2% respectively. Considering
the greenhouse gas emissions, it consists of results from the energy usages. It
is worth noticing that the greenhouse output of heating is almost one-third
of that of its energy demands. While water heating emits almost one-third of detrimental
gas in total, other appliances produce nearly doubled compared to that of its
energy uses, 28%. In regard to the refrigeration and lightning, greenhouse
gas emissions are exactly twofold more than that of the energy usage and cooling
illustrates the lowest proportion, 3%. |
|||
[ 205 words] |
|||
Grammar |
Vocabulary |
Cohesion and Coherence |
Task Response |
8/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
8/9.0 |
감사합니다.
총평: 이번 글도 잘 써주셨습니다. 이 자료의 경우 두 표의 대비가 쟁점이 되는데, 이걸 잘 캐치해주셨네요.
수고하셨습니다 :)