■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.
■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading

Many children are obese, and this obesity rate is increasing every year. Obesity can be caused by children's unhealthy eating habits. Eating habits can be directly influenced by parent's preferences, thus these habits are mainly due to the parent's reckless <(reckless what?).

 (Need better transition)

Majority of children are obese and there is are an increasing rate of over-weighted young children. The main reason for this incremental trend is the addiction on stimulus flavours. These unhealthy stimulus flavours are accumulated continuously within children's body and that turns into fat. The addiction on stimulus flavours is due to parent's ignorance. <(unhealthy stimulus flavours 보다는 parent's ignorance/parents' fault/ parents to blame에 focus를 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 마지막 문장 전에 내용이 질문의 주제와 조금 irrelevant 하게 들립니다) 

The children's obesity has a high correlationship with parents. Because parents can directly influence on children's meal, they can directly control children's obesity. However, many household do not prepare healthy meals. Parents do not recognise the importance of providing healthy foods to children or they may not want to spend too much time in cooking. Whatever the reason is, it has lead the youth obesity. Therefore, since parents have the direct influence on children's obesity, they can be the one who can control overweight issues. <(Need to elaborate. Why can parents directly influence children's meals? )

(Need better transition)

The children's eating habits are formed by parents. Since parents prepare most of children's meals, the certain taste can become children's eating preference. If parents have a bad eating preference such as eating unhealthy foods, children will have unhealthy meal habits. That will result in addiction in stimulative tastes. <(stimulative flavours를 두 번째 문단에 서술을 해주셨는데 다시 네 번째 문단에 이 주제가 나와서 organization이 잘 안되어 보입니다) 

In conclusion, the growth of youth obesity can be cause by the unhealthy eating habits, because it has been formed by parents. Therefore, provision of healthy meals at home is important for children to remain healthy.

Score: 6

Comment: 글쓰시는데에 문제가 없어 보이시고 내용들은 fair한데 정리가 잘안되어있고 elaboration이 필요합니다. 내용/sub-topic organization에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 예를 들어 body 1는 왜 부모님들의 탓인지/directly obesity/meals를 influence 할수 있는지 그리고 body 2는 어떻게 부모님들이 obesity를 cause 하는지 또는 importance of eating habits are formed by parents and how it impacts obesity in children 로 정리를 해주실 수 있습니다. 수고 하셨습니다