Some people think that new technology always improves the lives of workers. Other people believe that it results in disadvantages for workers. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.
In modern society, it is debatable that whether the new technology has benefits for lives of workers or not. Some people say that modern technology has benefits while others think it has more drawbacks for workers. I believe that it has disadvantages that workers are at the edge of losing their jobs and they workers should continue to develop the modern skills not to be outdated.
First of all, modern technologies in various areas have many benefits and in fact, it improves workers quality of life well. However, if this phenomenon continues, (이거 없이 바로 단점으로 들어가시면 됩니다. 문단의 정체성을 유지해주세요!) most of human jobs will be replaced with the robots with new technology. For instance, it is easy to find robots that cleaning the street and many people who work as a street cleaner lose lost their jobs because of the development of cleaning technology. Some people also demonstrates that although human develops the robots and technologies, human will lose their jobs because of the robots. (위에서 했던 말과 별 다를바가 없습니다.)
Secondly, employees should develop the new technologies not to stay behind. Since workers try not to be replaced their positions with other people who are used to modern technology in companies, employees should learn new skills which cannot be substitute with new employees. This phenomenon lead to extreme competition among the workers. As a result, modern technology make people exhausted due to the competitions. (여기는 기술이 노동자들에게 가져다주는 장점으로 채워주시면 돼요. 논제가 discuss both라고 했기 때문이죠.)
To sum up, whether new technology always improves workers’ life or not has become a heated issue in modern society. (이 문장의 경우도 사실 서론용 문장이긴 합니다.) I believe that it has disadvantages that development of technology might make people to lose their jobs and it lead the competition between people not to be behind and made make them tired.
총평: (5/6/6/6) 6.0
논제에서 discuss both 라고 했으니까, 두 입장 모두 다뤄주시면 됩니다. 순서는 상관없지만, 여튼 장점을 하나의 문단에, 단점을 또다른 문단에 넣어주시고, 결론에서 내 의견으로 마무리해주시면 돼요. 항상 발문을 꼼꼼하게 읽고, 그게 요구하는 바에 따라 적절히 대처해주셔야 합니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)