Some people believe that students should be taught international
news as a subject at school. Others feel that this would be a waste of valuable
school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion
While some people say that
schools should provide worldwide news class as a formal subject to students, others
think that this is not worthy at all for students. Although both Both views will be discussed
in this essay, whereas I personally believe that the latter view is more persuasive. (이 문장은 제가 바꿔드린 그대로 그냥 싹 외워버리시고 모든 discuss both 유형에서 former/latter만 바꿔가며 적용하세요!)
On the one hand, there are
some arguments that teaching worldwide news at the school is necessary. One of
the reasons is that various national news help children to understand the current
world trend. Knowledge of global issues will be a great asset to children when
they grow up. In addition, this gives the opportunity for students become
interested in politics or lately social problems such as sexual discrimination
in India or suspicion of corruption in politician and so on. (이 문장은 중간에 한번 꼬였는데 댓글 주세요! 아니면 hshs님께서 직접 고쳐보시고 댓글로 검사받으셔도 됩니다.) Therefore, this kind
of education gives students a good habit of reading global news and makes them
a people who actively participates social problems.
On the other hand, I believe
that learning about international news at school is inappropriate, First and foremost,
students should more focus on important subjects such as math or science rather
than worldwide news. Learning global news is only a burden to students. Another
reason is that if a teacher teaches about international news, there is a possibility
that the teacher’s personal bias will be included, especially from the politics side.
News can be interpreted differently by people, thus, it is not right for
students who have to learn objective facts as much as possible.
In conclusion, although learn about international news has a good opportunity
for students, it is not reasonable to learn global news as a formal subject at
school.
글자수:269,걸린시간:47분,목표점수:6.5
총평: (7/6/7/6) 6.5
일단 시간을 제끼고 글 자체만 보면 6.5는 충분히 괜찮습니다. 그러나 시간이 문제이고요. 이정도의 글을 40분 내로 쓰실 수 있어야 하는데, 현실적으로 서둘러서 쓰시면 완성 자체는 시키더라도 퀄리티가 지금에 비해 떨어질 겁니다. 고로 시간은 천천히, 꼭! 단축해주세요!
또한 서론에 제가 바꿔드린 문장은 그냥 통으로 외워버리시고, 본론1의 문장은 댓글 주세요~
수고하셨습니다 :)