The chart shows the figure for full-time
education and part-time education in further education in both genders. The
period is from 1970 to 1990.
(제가 해드린 것처럼, 문단은 나눌 때에는 엔터키를 두 번 쳐주시면 됩니다.)
Focusing on the female's Female’s figure, the number
of both full-time education and part-time education participants increased is increasing
gradually. It was a little bit less than 800 thousand in 1970. However, it grew
up to more than 1000 thousand in 1990. Similarly, the figure for full-time
education also peaked at the end of the period with the number of approximately
200 thousand.
The growth of male’s full-time education
figure was relatively less sharp than that of the female’s. An interesting Interesting thing is that the
figure for part-time education is the only figure that is decreasing on this
whole chart. The trend of the figure (의식하셨을지 모르겠지만, 너무 자주 쓰이고 있긴 합니다. 단, 6.0에서 전혀 중요한 사항이 아니므로 그냥 참고 정도만 해주세요~) of part-time education in male differs
with the others. It dropped rapidly from 1970 to 1980 and slightly grew from 1980
to 1990.
As a whole, the figures are all increasing
except male’s part-time education figure from 1970 to 1980. Also, the number of
part-time education is much bigger than full-time education. (Task1에서의 Overview는 서론 밑으로 옮겨주시면 되고, As a whole보다는 In general~로 시작해주시면 됩니다.)
* 목표 점수 : 6.0
* 시험 11월 말에 칠 예정이에요.
* 176단어, 25분 걸렸습니다. (Grammarly로 간단한 첨삭은 했어요)
총평: (7/6/6/6) 6.5
시간이 오버된 점, 그래머리의 사용 등은 감안했을 때 실전에서 6.5는 조금 어렵겠지만, 6.0은 충분히 받는 점수입니다. 제일 중요한 문법에서 적어도 틀린 사항이 그렇게 많지는 않기 때문에 6.0은 가능하고도 남을 거에요. 앞으로 11월 말까지는 어느정도 편안하게 공부하셔도 될 건데, 대신 시간 줄이는데에 조금 더 집중해주시고, 그래머리 의존도도 차차 줄여주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)