Is it important to be concerned about international event, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives.
agree/disagree
It has often argued that it is important to be concerned about international events, although even though those events have no direct impact on our lives. I strongly disagree with the above view, and in this essay, I will would represent some reasons for my belief.
To begin with, holding being interested in an international event is good for most countries because most countries can share many things like the environmental movement. For example, In Korea, one of the companies held a campaign to reduce disposable waste, by recycling plastic bottles and using glass cup and stainless cup. This trend will spread to a lot of countries, and they will try to act like Korea, which will be helpful to protect our environment. Likewise, this event will affect in a positive way to many countries, though events have no direct impact on modern society.
Despite of the fact that it instantly does has not have a positive impact on our society, it leads to making various cultures. By sharing and being know event that holds in each country, people who have different nationalities are able to understand other cultures and backgrounds. Furthermore, this phenomenon will make the world as a whole and create another culture. This event will play a vital role in the future.
To sum up, it is significant to be concerned about international event, even if those events directly affect anything in our lives. However, people can perceive different cultures and backgrounds, and also this will make a senergy to many countries. For these reasons, I completely disagree with the mentioned opinion.
40분 소요되었고,, 쓸말이 너무 없었어요ㅜ_ㅜ
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
할말 없었어도 괜찮습니다. 어차피 내용은 그렇게 중요하지 않으니까 이정도만 돼도 충분하고, 오히려 시간과 문법이 훨씬 긍정적입니다. 이거는 단순히 자신감을 드리기 위해서 하는 말씀이 아니라, 실제로 학생들의 내용은 극소수의 잘 쓰는 학생들과 극소수의 못쓰는 학생들, 즉 양 극단에 있는 학생들을 빼면 거기서 거기니까 걱정하지 않으셔도 돼요.
수고하셨습니다 :)