In the
future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people
in many countries. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Many experts predict that in the future, our society will become an aging
society worldwide. There are several reasons why this phenomenon happens and I believe
that this trend will be a disadvantageous on our community.
To begin with, there are some reasons why many people say that the
proportion of elderly generation will exceed the number of youth generation. First
and foremost, many countries all over the world have a low birthrate and even
predict it to be lower in the future. One of the reasons is that these days, people
tend to want a single an only child or not at all due to various social problems such as
expensive education cost, high-priced apartment, work-life balance issue, and
so on. Another reason is that as development technologies with the development of technology, people’s lifespan is
increased. Therefore, people do not easily die unless they get infected by a serious virus that modern
medical method cannot remedy. Thus, the aging times will get worse and worse (여기는 뭔가 의도하신 바랑 다르게 드러난 것 같은데, 어떤 의미로 적어주셨는지 댓글 주시면 확인하고 수정해드리겠습니다.) as
the birthrate is lower but elderly people keep growing.
If this trend continues in the future, I firmly believe that this
phenomenon will lead to be the worst situation in our community. Firstly, people will
suffer from a decrease in the number of workers; this will be make many countries’
economy get collapse. In addition, the burden of elderly support per person is
increased. Thus, young generations would have difficulties difficult with their life and always be pressured
about the support cost.
In conclusion, the low birthrate and development of medical
technology effect on an increase in the average life expectancy the aging and I strongly believe that this
trend would make people struggle struggling with various negative impacts
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초반에 글쓰는게 오래 걸리는 편이라...시간압박 때문에 뒤로갈수록 근거가 부족해진거같아요ㅜ
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글자수는 아마 265가 오타난 것 같으니까 그냥 넘어가고, 대신 말씀해주신대로 본론2는 양적인 보완이 필요합니다. 또한 이번 글의 경우도 문법 쪽 자잘한 사항들이 존재하므로, 이전에 말씀드렸듯이 문법에 대한 보완은 꼭 해주세요!
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