안녕하세요! 이번에도 총 43분 소요되었습니다. 시간 관리에 더 힘쓸게요.
한가지 궁금한 것이, 만약 task 2는 7.0 받고 task1에서 점수 6.0 을 얻었다면, 도합 BAND 6.5를 받게되는 건가요?
내일도 퇴근하고 하나 써서 꼭 첨삭받겠습니다. 감사합니다.
->오늘은 아직 안 쓰셨네요!
시험측에서 채점에 대한 계산법은 공개하지 않아서 알 수 없지만, 정설은 task1:2의 비중이 1:2로 들어가는 겁니다.
대신 연님은 그런 거에 신경쓰실 필요 없어요. 그냥 둘 다 7.0 받으시면 됩니다. 어차피 아카데믹 보시는 것도 아니라서 task1 말아먹을 일도 없습니다~~
Q. Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A. Some parents assert that their children
have to do some activities related to education during their free time. However,
others believe that children get much stress in this way and personally, I totally agree
with this idea.
On the one hand, many parents want their
kid to spend their free time smartly far apart from so-called bad activities. Nowadays,
more and more young people are likely to be exposed a number of stimulating
online games or sensational video clips on YouTube. It is easy to be addicted
to such stuff (연님 실력이면 이것보다 더 나은 표현을 쓰실 수 있어야 합니다.) which may include harmful contents for kids because they are not
mature enough to distinguish what is good or not. That is why some parents argue
that their children should occupy themselves with educational activities such
as reading books, visiting a museum with their friends or writing a daily diary.
These educational activities not only help children develop their intelligence
but also make them practice to organize their free time in a positive and
productive way.
On the other hand, others disagree with
this argument because they find that their children are already under stress
from a lot of school works. In modern society, most of children should get the
regular curriculum and they are asked to earn a high grade on each subject no
matter how young they are. To do so, they already spend too much time in
learning and educational activities in school. Therefore, if the young children
should do something educational even in their free time, they would be
overweighed from a great pressure. I also strongly believe that free time should
be literally ‘free’ time which they can do whatever they want according to their
free willingness. I think that rather than forcing children to get double stress,
encouraging them to do anything which really improves their quality of life and sense
of happiness is a much better option. Moreover, by spending their free time freely, they can also find
their favorite activities which may lead to their career path in the future.
In conclusion, while some parents hope their
children do educational activities in their spare time as a result of worrying about
addiction to harmful contents, others argue that this way rather make them
unhappy and stressful. I believe we should flee children from the pressure to
always be productive when it comes to spending their free time.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
잘 써주셨습니다. 크게 문제는 없었고, 대신 3분은 줄이셔야 해요. 현실적으로 타자를 빨리 쳐서 줄이기에는 불가능할 겁니다. 고로 글을(본론2) 간추리는 쪽으로 생각해보세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)