Artists and scientists both benefit society. Compare the contribution of artists and scientists.
Which type of contribution do you think is valued more in your culture? Give examples.
It has been observed that both artists and scientists contribute to society positively, but I think that the former is more effective than the latter. I personally believe that the part of developed art more affect directly has more direct affect like music and popular culture compared to science. In addition, sometimes, art is able to be spread and then make our own trend in other countries such as BTS which is a Korean boy group. Thus, I opine that the contribution of artists which is more directly to our life style and has a bigger influence to other nations is more valuable in our culture.
총 소요 시간:9분
총 글자 수:98자
총평: 문법의 경우는 위에 자잘한 사항들만 봐주시면 되겠는데, 대신 과학의 contribution 과 관련해서도 반 줄 정도는 넣어주시는 게 좋습니다. 그래야 논제의 compare가 정확히 반영되죠.
수고하셨습니다 :)