*목표점수 : 6.5
*task1 처음 작성해보는데, 어렵네요 ㅠㅠ. 표현같은거 제대로 안익히고 마구잡이로 하려니까 잘 안써져서 단어같은거 찾아보면서 했습니다 ㅠㅠ..
The bar graph describes the amount of
spreads consumed in margarine, lowfat & reduced spreads, and butter from 1981
to 2007.
(이번 글의 경우도 엔터키는 마찬가지입니다.)
Overall, it is clear that butter’s usages
plummeted over the 26-year period. Meanwhile, the consumption of margarine
remained relatively still remained, but lowfat & reduced spreads started to be
used from 1996, showing a fluctuation and it fluctuated.
Looking at the graph more closely, one can
see that butter had the highest amount of spreads use in 1981. At this time,
people used around 140 grams which was three-seconds of the proportion amount that margarine was be used. However, by the end of the period in question, the
consumption of butter was the same as margarine’s at 50 grams. Margraine’s
usage was maintained maintaining between 80 grams to 100 grams (단위는 함부로 뺄 수 있는 사항이 아닙니다.) from 1981 to 2001, but dropped sharply
from 2001. In the meantime However, lowfat & reduced spreads were consumed 10 grams in 1996
at the starting point, followed by a spike in 2001. And (문장을 and but so로 시작하는 것은 좋지 않습니다.) it slightly decreased afterwards.
총평: (6/6/7/6) 6.5
task1에서 가끔 학생들이 까먹고, 혹은 귀찮아서, 등의 이유로 단위를 빼먹는 경우가 생기는데, 절대 불가한 사항이므로 주의해주셔야 합니다. 예외적으로 80 to 100 grams에서 앞의 80에 생략하는 건 가능하지만, 딱 거기까지만 허용됩니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)