▶ Your Answer :
In
regards to some media organizations overly revealing celebrities’ lives to the
public, I strongly believe that it negatively affects children. While current
media industries offer a great deal of entertainment by broadcasting movie
stars or pop stars' private lifestyles, some concerns that this phenomenon
brings negative consequences to children because they easily learn from other <(other what?) ,
even though the behavior is not worth to follow. In addition, children can be dissatisfied with their own lives, when they compare theirs to celebrities’.
To begin
with, an over exposure of celebrities to children can cause undesirable mimic
behaviours, because children tend to observe their environment and reflect what
they obtain from others. It is true that current entertainment industries
provide educational contents of celebrities. However, the contents often
contain the opposite side, such as unethical behaviours or negative job
attributes. As a research conducted from Korea University, people were less
strict to the unethical behaviour of others, after they continuously witnessed
the exact behaviour from a famous person, and this result was more significant
to young people. Therefore, it is evident that the media’s coverage can affect
children by showing the celebrities.
Furthermore,
luxurious lifestyles of the celebrities may lead children to be dissatisfied with
their own lives. The media outlets often highlight the fancy part of someone’s
life, such as their fame or wealth. Young people, who have not established a
certain level of judgement, would feel relative deprivation by comparing their
surroundings to celebrities’ ones. Thus, it is clear that children will gain
some negative effects from the some media focusing on the provocative side of
the famous people.
In summary,
despite the fact that the media contributes to entertain the public with the
contents related to celebrities, it significantly affects children, because
they easily behave what they see and may feel unhappy with their own lives by
the media’s biased broadcast.
Score: 8 Comment: 잘 서술해주셨습니다. 글 정리를 조금 더 해주시고 콤마 사용에 조금을 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |