Some people do not mind to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while some people prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life.
There are those who aspire to spend time with their peers while some introverted people tend to be reluctant to spend leisure time with their colleagues as this kind of people attach importance to private life. Personally, I believe that spending leisure time with associates is more effective for several reasons than spending it alone, and will give my reasons below.
It
is natural for workers to want to keep their private life separate from their
work life and there are two reasons why people long for getting private time. In
terms of personality, there are some individuals in work environments who are
always suffering from relationships with line managers or colleagues due to
their introverted characteristics that they have had throughout their life. At
the same time, some people assert that while it is of course significant to
spend day-off with their colleagues, but it is much more important to pay a
visit to parents or relatives and hang out with their hometown friends during the
leisure time. If they keep spending leisure time with associates even on days–off,
they are likely to feel exhausted and cause long-term disadvantages. (9점의 글에서는 이거에 대해 설명하거나, 아니면 아예 빼셔야 합니다. 그러나 9점 목표하시는 건 아니니까 그냥 두세요~어차피 시간상 그럴 여유도 없을 겁니다.)
A
more optimistic point of view, and one that I favor, is that spending their
leisure time with associates. I believe that the more workers spend their spare
time with their colleagues, the more they could get to close to each other. In
addition, by spending leisure time with co-workers, they might be able to gain
some useful information concerning promotion or financial flow of a company. Finally,
spending spare time with colleagues can be seen that they are dedicating to be
a part of the company’s vital member. This means that it could lead to rapid
promotion.
In conclusion, some workers want to spend leisure time alone due to introverted personality, but I believe that it is more beneficial to spend time with their peers who always work the same workplace.
322
1. 6.5를 받고싶습니다!! 조금 욕심 내보자면 7.0을 받으면 좋을 것 같긴한데 ㅎㅎ 6.5라도 받고싶어요 !!
2. 10월 10일 입니다. 늦어도 11월까지는 만들고 싶습니다!!
3. 정확히 40분 걸렸습니다. ( 시간을 조금 단축 시키고싶은데 아이디어 잡는데서 시간을 많이 소요해요 ㅠ 더 노력해 보겠습니다!)
322자 이구요 외부도움 일절 받지 않았습니다.
총평: (7/7/7/7) 7.0
글은 잘 써주셨습니다. 이전에 문제되었던 부분이 해결되어서 훨씬 깔끔해졌네요. 여기에 대해서는 크게 말씀드릴 건 없고 잠시 윗 내용에 대해 조언드리겠습니다.
일단 양산님의 경우 '영어' 가 되기 때문에 7.0이 절대 무리한 목표는 아닙니다. 적어도 task2에서는 그래요. 그러나 7점 이상 목표하는 학생들의 발목을 잡는 건 Task1이며, 제가 아직 이걸 보지 못해서 확답은 못드리겠네요. 그래도 6.5는 무조건 받으십니다. 고로 어느정도 편하게 공부하시고, 7.0은 받으면 좋고 아니면 어쩔 수 없고의 마인드만 가지셔도 될 것 같습니다. 만약에 스피킹이 답이 없으면 라이팅에서 더 벌어가야하기 때문에 7.0을 목표해야할 수도 있지만, 이렇게 영어 실력이 좋으신데 스피킹이 (5점대 정도로) 답이 없지는 않을 것 같네요.
시간 관련해서는 굳이 더 줄이실 필요까지는 없습니다. 만약에 줄인다고 하면 5분을 더 줄이고 그 시간을 검토용으로 사용해주시면 되고요.
수고하셨습니다 :)