The pie chart describes what kind of work anthropology graduates had after they finished degree course and the table indicates the income of the anthropologists after 5 years of work. (여기서 엔터를 한번 더 치거나, 혹은 아예 엔터 없이 가주시면 됩니다.)
Overall, more than half of the total graduates got a job as a full time while others experienced part-time work and postgrad study or
in between jobs and the most of anthropologists got high salaries by receiving over $100,000. (이건 그냥 새로운 문장으로 넣어버리세요~문장이 길어지는 건 별로 좋지 못합니다.)
As clearly seen from the pie chart, 52% of graduates were able to find a full-time work, overtaking (overtake라는 단어는, 처음에는 낮았다가 이후 높아지면서 따라잡았을 때 사용 가능합니다. 그러나 여기는 애초에 처음부터 52가 15보다 높은 상황이므로 적절하지 않고요.) part-time work at 15% and people who had a part-time job with postgrad study, which rate was were 5%. Besides, 12% of graduates were unemployed and it is just over the graduates who started postgrad study as a full-time with figure of 8%. (여기부터는 새로운 문단으로 가시면 됩니다.) Turning to the table concerning salaries of anthropologist, there are three different types of employment such as freelance consultants, government sector, and private companies. Apparently apparently, the government sector employees reported that around 50% of them got over $100,00 per year and it is the biggest amount of money share among other types of employment. While 80% of employees who work at freelance and government sector were able to receive more than $75,000, only 55% of private companies workers got over $75,000.
시간 25분
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총평: (7/6/6/7) 6.5
일단 긍정적인 점의 경우 패러프레이징이 잘 되었다는 것입니다. 물론 정확도가 조금 떨어지긴 하지만요. 단어 사용의 경우 overtake도 잘못되었으며, 제가 아예 지워버린 such as 역시 마찬가지입니다. such as는 전체 중 일부를 나열할 때 쓰이는데, 해당 문장에서는 전체 3개 중 3개를 나열하고 있기 때문에 적절하지 않습니다. 또한 애초에 저렇게 나열할 필요도 없고요. 저런 내용을 줄이면서 시간을 확보해주셔야 합니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)