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It is a common belief that parents and
school teach children how to be good members of society. I personally agree
with this opinion. To begin with, parents have positive
effects on children. This is because parents they spend a lot of time with their
children. In other words, many children may resemble their parents. For
example, many statistics have consistently shown that most of the children
imitate their parents’ personalities and habits. To be specific, casual
appearance of parents helps children to grow as good members of society. It is
obvious that spending a lot of time with their family allows children to make
good members because their parents should adapt to the society. (여기는 어떤 의미로 적어주셨나요? 댓글 주시면 확인하고 수정해드리겠습니다.) Moreover,
parents know their children in and out. This is because parents should give a
lot of comments to their children (~해야 한다가 아닌, ~한다의 의미가 되도록 수정해주세요!). These comments cause children in order to
adapt society. (여기도 같이 댓글 주세요~) As a result, parents play an important role in making children
to develop social skills in order to be good members of society. However, schools also have an advantage to
develop social skills because students they can experience pre-learning of society. For instance,
many experts have stated that school is similar to society. This is because
children meet up with friends and learn various fields, not only of academia but
also human relationship. When they face serious problems in school, they want
to solve the problem. This activity helps children to share information and to
develop relationships with friends and teachers. If children adapt well to
school, they can easily be good members of society. It is clear that school is
small society. (결론이 이게 되어서는 안 되겠죠. 이건 결론을 설명하는 과정에서의 근거일 뿐입니다.) In conclusion, I think that parents and teachers
are affected by developing social skills. (언급된 두 주체는 영향을 받는게 아니라 주는 것입니다. 또한, 영향을 받는 주체, 즉 어린 아이들에 대해서도 언급해주세요.) However, parents should teach
children how to be good members of society compared to the school. (왜 그렇게 생각하는지에 대해 설명해주세요.) |