Nowadays,
many young people have mobile phone therefore, they prefer to watch news on
mobile phone and commonly, newspapers have been made for adult consequently,
young people don’t like reading newspapers. (이전에도 이와 관련해서 비슷한 말씀을 드린 적이 있는데, 문장 길이에 욕심내지 않으셔도 됩니다. 오히려 문장이 길어지다가 비문이 될 가능성도 높기 때문에 적절한 곳에서 끊어갈 수 있는 능력을 길러주셔야 해요.) In this regard, I will this essay (이 표현의 경우 이전부터 계속 보이는데 잘못된 표현이에요~적절한 동사를 넣어서 수정해주셔야 합니다. 우선은 직접 바꿔보시는 걸 추천해드리지만 모르시겠으면 댓글 주시면 하나의 예시를 드리겠습니다. 꼭! 꼭! 수정해주시거나 댓글 주세요!) what are the causes that only a few young people read newspapers and watch news on TV.
Not
only most newspapers are bored boring to read but also young people do not have time
to watch news on TV because of their work. Many newspapers mainly deal with
current events that are not popular among young people like entertainment
articles. Thus, they don’t (줄임말을 사용해서는 안 됩니다.) like reading about news. Also, most young people prefer
to watch news on mobile phone and it is convenient as well as useful because, they
can watch news wherever they are through a mobile phone.
In
terms of the solutions, newspapers should focus on entertainment articles than current
events in order to attract young people. However, when it has to deal with current
events, it should be made so that young people can read it easily like a cartoon. Thus,
more young people will be that get to like reading newspapers. The easiest way to
solve that young people do not watch news on TV is school should encourage that
young people watch news on TV than mobile phone. If young people became
familiar to watch news on TV, they will understand about current events
increasingly. (여기의 경우 문법을 떠나서 일단 해결책 자체가 달랑 학교가 young people 에게 권장해야 한다만 하고 끝났기 때문에 그렇게 설득력을 가진다고 보기 어렵습니다.)
In
conclusion, although both reading newspapers and watching news on TV are inconvenience
to young people, I think that if it is focus on young people (그냥 단순히 young people 에 대한 집중이 아니라 young people 의 특성에 대한 집중 등으로 구체화해주셔야 해요.), it would be easy
to solve.