Some people think that there are wider options in our modern lives. (논제의 too many 에 주목할 수 있어야합니다. 해당 표현은 기본적으로 부정적인 뉘앙스를 담습니다. 즉, 선택지가 너무 많아서 [고르기 어려울 정도이다] 라는 의미가 되어요. 그러므로 현재 문장처럼 단순히 '선택지가 많다' 는 논제와 완전히 일치하지 않습니다.) I strongly agree with this opinion.
There are is doubt that these days, people are
given a lot of chocies by contrast with the past. This is because of advanced
technology. First of all, since the Industrial Revolution, more and more factories are
able to make not only mass production but also diverse kinds of goods. Subsequently In subsequently, according
to developed technology in transport system and globalization, the scale of options were
enlarged to an international level beyond one region and nation. It means active international trade and
exchange of natural resorces, material and human between countries.
Secondly, the consumer society lead to
varied various choices. There are several factors, and among them, the main one is the Internet. In the past,
to buy some commodities requires required travel and at cost, but after the Internet network progress, it is not the case anymore be
no loner needed it. In addition, the advertisement industry position is also are enlarged in our
lives. Because of it, populations are exposed to the media and many commercials in that without any
difficulties.
In conclusion, the reason why available
options had extended is the growth growing of accessibility to purchase like the quantity and type of
items, globalization, the Internet and advertisements.
총평: (6/6/6/5) 6.0
이 논제는 조금 어려운 편인데, 이는 수험생들이 too many 의 사소한 어조 차이를 잘 캐치하지 못하기 때문입니다. 위에서 말씀드렸듯이 해당 표현은 부정적인 뉘앙스를 담기 때문에 이쪽에 맞춰 작성해주셔야해요. 즉, 1. 선택지가 너무 많아서 머리아프고 헷갈린다. 2. 오히려 제품 간 획일화로 인해 선택의 폭이 줄었다. 의 두 가지가 큰 틀에서 대립하게 됩니다. 물론 이 외의 입장들도 상황에 따라 고를 수는 있겠으나 굳이 추천드리지 않고, 어쨌든 가장 우선적인 전제는 'too many' 가 되므로 이와 관련해서 수정해보세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)