It has been observed that the young people are more than the elderly in some nations. There are both benefits and drawbacks to this phenomenon, but I think that the merits are greater.
To begin with, there are several disadvantageous that the majority of the population is young generation. First of all, traditional culture can be ignored. Almost younger tend to pursue new so that it is commonly seen that try to discover fresh and innovative trend,technology constantly in the young. It means that a social customs would be able to decline. Secondly, they are the lack of the experience. It can cause some immature problems, confusion, conflicts between them.
However, not all aspects of this phenomenon, there are relatively few elderly people, are demerits. Firstly, there are no doubt that it is advantageous on young people economically. The low tax that younger have to pay for older people allows to more invest in themselves. In case of a country, it also helps to expend money to construct some infrastructure, industry, and so on. Instead of spending onsubsidy for the older,the cost of construction like welfare facilities. Moreover, it leads to the active economically. In order to make revival of economy, it is necessary a large number of people who are able to make a profit by working.
In conclusion, although obtaining wisdom from old people and their culture seems beneficial in someaspects, I believe that it have more advantageous on the economic of individuals and governments and nation can be actively.
선생님!
1. 젊은이들이 더 많아서 생기는 문제->단점
젊은이들이 더 많아서 생기는 이점->장점 이렇게 되는게 맞나요?
2. 템플릿으로 인트로,바디1과2 첫문장 쓴건데 적절한가요?