▶ Your Answer : People are usually be critical to about advertisements, because they think it may be exaggerated or misleading. Actually, it is proven that many advertisements are misleading and some of them overvalueing their product. The greed of advertising companies and the natural setting of making an advertisement (무슨뜻?) let this happen.
First of all, the prime purpose of advertisement is to promote the product, in which involves the tendency to display the item in a better way. A lot of orientations(??) could be made in order to achieve the goal. The companies that produce an advertisements are extremely sensitive to the popularity due to the incentive they might get accordingly. Therefore, it is natural to have a motivation to make making their products better than they actually are. The research conducted by the Human Business Journal, the research article concluded that 85% of advertisements are actually overvaluing their products, in the way of exaggerating its functions or evaluation. Some of the advertisments even produce put false informations in order to get better result. The main motivation of these behaviors of the ad companies was their payment. In other words, the companies get payment based on the effectness of the advertiement, so they tend to venture in order to achieve better result.
Second, advertisements does not consider the situation of the products when they are wear out or get dirty (적절한 topic sentence가 아니네요. 차라리 광고 속 모델이 실물과 달라서 소비자들이 속을 수 있다고 하는게 나을 것 같아요) Most of the advertisements show a good quality of product, which is brand new and clean. Also, the surrroundings of the display in the advertisement are is unlike the setting of general users. In fact, the good condition of the product, as the advertisement displaies, however, does not last long when customers start to use it. Personally, I have experienced similar situation. A brand new phone looked fabulous in the advertisement so I ordered it without hesitation. that I saw on the television. Without hesitation, I made an order. However, the product I receieved turned out to be different from the commercial. Since I ordered a white color model, following to my usage Even though the phone was bright white color, it easily became contaminated in a very short amount of time. Also, the phone tend to have had a lot of disorder, thereby I had to endure several inconveniences and expense of the fixing. The experience proved that the adcertisement only shows a bright aspect of the product, just to offer the product tempting to the audiences.
For these reasons I believe that advertisements display the better aspect of the product compared to it of the actual product. Several motivations that I have presented in the paragraphes led to this misconception.
[Score] 18-20 [Feedback] - 글의 구조나 아이디어는 좋습니다. - 다만, 그 아이디어를 표현하기에는 문장의 표현이나 문법적 측면이 다소 부족합니다. 불필요한 문장 대신 명확하고 간결한 문장을 사용해주시고, 더블체크를 통해 문법적 오류도 최대한 줄여주세요. - 그리고 문단의 내용과 예시를 함축하는 topic sentence는 굉장히 중요합니다. 적절한 토픽 센텐스를 골라서 쓰시는 능력도 중요해요~ 수고하셨습니다^^ |