▶ Your Answer :
Although there is no complete consensus that has been reached on the topic , yet I strongly believe that having ambitious goals in life is better than having realistic ones. I would like to take a stance on ambitious goals in life are better than realistic aspirations. In order to substantiate my central focal points, I will provide several reasons and explore the given topic in great deal in the essay. (크게 틀린 부분은 없지만 표현이 어색합니다. This is because~하고 근거 두가지를 나열 해주시는게 더 좋을 듯 해요.)
To begin with, I firmly believe that ambitious goals are better than realistic ones. This is because people always come up with new ideas that they did not think of before. some unpredictable ideas would suddenly come out on your mind. Those ideas can help people achieve more goals. (Since some of unpredictable ideas comes out , having an ambitious goals aid someone into successful life or support the idea of inventive products , which are helpful on today's day.) --> 문법적인 오류가 너무 많습니다. For example, people who set higher goals for themselves are tend to be more creative. Those who think outside the box are the ones who make great inventions. scientists who thinks in a realistic way, are limited in thinking in a creative way so there inventions are also limited . However people who have ambitious goals thinks with ingenuity not as general people . As a result of creative thinking , inventions comes out that most of people can't think about. --> 문법적 오류가 너무 많습니다.
On top of that, people with ambitious goals don't set decide their limits.
Setting no limits, they are able to discover what they are capable of doing.
Owning ambitious goals they deceive themselves that they limits in more higher level, so they are able to know their values than they just thought. For instance, when I was in high school, I was struggling with math. I was very anxious that I would not get accepted to any universities. I just thought that my math score would not get any higher. However, my counselor helped me think in a different way. She advised me that if I studied hard enough, I would be able to pass math tests. I took her advice and I studied harder than before. As a result, I was able to get better grades. This example demonstrates the fact that having high goals help people accomplish more. seven-teen years old i did counsel with my teacher. I was frustrated about my score on math test so i was worried about my college admission test. It was really limit my self that i might go to low level college it was absolutely realistic thinking. Nevertheless , my teacher helps me thinking in a different way by teachers saying i studied more harder to pass my exams on test. Finally i got not bad grade on test so i entered in intermediate level college. This example support my reason that ambitious aspirations help me to be more great student.
To sum up, having ambitious goals enables people to be more creative and reach higher than they expected. For these reasons, I think setting higher goals is better than realistic ones.
with having ambitious golas .Some unexpected ideas might come out and assist the rise of self-limit level. In this regard i severely support that ambitious goal is better than realistic aspiration.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 문법적인 오류가 너무 많아요. 이건 거의 제가 다시 써드리다시피 했네요. 다른건 다 제외하고 우선 1형식, 2형식 이런 기본적인 문장부터 차근차근 공부 하세요. Unscramble문제 푸시면 문장을 어떻게 써야 하는지 감이 올거에요. http://www.rong-chang.com/writing/ 여기 웹사이트 들어가시면 정말 기본적인 문장부터 연습하실 수 있어요. 꼭 들어가셔서 연습 해보세요. 다음번에 올리실 땐 발전이 있기를 기대 해봅니다. 채점은 하지 않겠습니다. 수고 하셨고 화이팅 하세요. |